Depression

Ok- I have been meaning to write about depression for ages.

I spent at least 11 straight years very depressed. Yes- I managed to go to college, have children, get married and divorced...have a life....but I was really depressed. There were years I spent drinking ( thankfully, I was always too poor to become an alcoholic because I could have for sure). I spent years cutting off my hair, compulsive eating (gaining 100++lbs), destroying my house in a rage, screaming, having anxiety attaches. I spent years in bed. I spent years on Prozac.

Fun topic.... :p ....not

Here's the thing...I am not that way any more. Nope. I have my ups and downs like everyone else but I haven't been depressed for years.

How come?

Well- and this may annoy some people- I got over it!

My most recent bowt of depression went on for two years following the death of my friend, Blake. One morning I decided to get up and tackle the day. That day turned into two and so on. I found that if I started my morning with a plan of action for that day I could get through it rather cheerfully. Projects became my "monkey bar" plan. For a long time I was 'addicted' to projects. I got a hell of a lot done. :) People just thought I was really, really productive. Actually, I was really scared to be without a distraction. Eventually, I started to eat healthy, walk and get outside on a regular basis. It all sounds simple and easy but it was a long process with many set backs.

Today, I don't "DO" depression anymore.

I found that it really is a choice to delve into depression and make it a part of yourself.

Depressed people speak in depressed language. "MY depression", "I HAVE to have my pills", "I cant", "I'll never", "I have an imbalance".

Well apparently 3 out of 4 people are imbalanced these days. That has to make ya think. There has to be more to it. A culture of sitting, TV, cruddy- processed- garbage food. A culture that encourages misery, lethargy and apathy.

When it comes down to it- we all have a choice to take life's inevitable pain and turn it into- and embrace- an option of suffering.