Holy Moly- Tony Robbins!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

OMG! Its Tony Robbins! Well I did it! I went to Tony Robbins! Wow!!! Here's the story...

Back in August my BFF went to Tony Robbins in Toronto. The event transformed her life and she set out to get me to do it too. In November she came to visit me for a weekend and we watched 3 DVDs of Tony Robbins at work. Wo! I was sold. I said- no matter what it took I was going to New Jersey for the UPW (unleash the power within) event. The biggest obstacle for me was $. The ticket is $734! Crazy! Well I went to selling off my rubber stamp stock. I held a big blow out sale and made $1200 :) Then, lucky me, I was offered a discount ticket for $500. Just making the commitment to go made so many doors open. The $ just came. And- my head just opened. I started all that meditation (below) and I was (am) loosing weight like crazy. I couldn't even imagine what I was going experience at this event.

The best I can describe the event is 53 hrs of intensive therapy mixed with a 4 day rock concert! The days were looooong and crazy! We only had about 3 hrs of sleep each night. No time to eat. Few real breaks. You spend these days massaging strangers, jumping, dancing, screaming, crying, sobbing and walking across fire!About the fire walk.... I did it! The coals range in temp from 1200-2000 degrees. There were 22 beds of coals measuring 2' wide by 12' long.The fire walk was held in the parking garage of the convention center. It was pitch black with tribal drums booming and 300 people chanting ...yes, yes, yes....

I was the first one of 2900 people down there. Though the pitch black garage did through me, I was FINE with the whole thing till I saw the coals. I got scared but talked myself down. About 7 people were ahead of me in line. I managed to take hold of the fear while I waited my turn but then when I stepped up for my turn my entire body was clenched with fear. I turned to the person next to me and said 'I cannot do this'....no response....cannot see ANYONE.....FEAR....then when I realised that I couldn't engage anyone in my fear it was driven right back down inside me again. Then I thought...' I cannot go home and say I didn't do it'....I took the first step. I felt my right foot touch the hot coals then I saw, heard, felt...NOTHING!...untill I felt the ice water being sprayed on my feet on the other side.Here you can see the 'hot spots' on my foot after the walk. They were fine by morning.

The fire walk was on day 1.

The second day started at 8 am and ran till 11pm. It was a lot of emotional work that prepared us for the big day...day 3. On this day we did the real work. We had to explore our passions, make decisions we haven't made yet and

look at our beliefs.....beliefs like.....'Life is...', 'I am...', 'People are...'

So I was honest....I said I believed 'I am a burden. I am unacceptable.'

You may recall from a post below I had over come enormous amounts of 'man issues' before going to this event. Well....when I got there and stood with 1500 strange men and had to massage these men and be hugged and touched by these men....I found I wasn't quite done with my issues. At one point I was so uncomfortable I had to leave. I have to say that I am sooooooo glad I did all that head work before going because I am certain that had I not over come all that I did I would have never endured this event. So- I also made a point to write down 'I believe deep down that all men are predators and perverts'. (a part of me no longer believed that but to be honest with myself...a part still did) So we wrote our beliefs down and then wrote down all the ways our current life is effected by these cruddy beliefs.

This book work was enough work but then we had to turn to a partner and tell them all that we wrote down. Well...I had been seated mostly alone. There was a row of woman in front of me and behind me and several blank chairs next to me. Then, along comes a 25 yr old-ish Peurto Rican man who sits down next to me. (just for those who don't know...I was once married to a 25 yr old Peurto Rican man who cheated relentlessly, made at least a few babies outside of the marriage... and definitely helped to mess me up) So...I had to turn to this man and tell him all my crappy beliefs about myself. Ugh.

I did it. I started to cry right off and I was embarrassed to tell him the one about men because I didn't want to insult this guy. I am sure men get real sick of women blaming them. So I did tell him...and I cried and cried to this stranger. He just stood there strong and still. He listened very respectfully. Then it was time to trade places and he had to tell me his stuff.....and he said....

"I am that guy". He goes on to tell me how he has spent his adult life pushing women around and pushing good women out of his life etc...............woooooooo! Freakin profound!!! for real.

Incredible.

This process of unraveling our beliefs and establishing new ones took several hours and was hugely moving. 2900 people stood in the dark waling and screaming. It sounded like what I'd imagine war to sound like. It was sooooo heavy but sooooooo effective. In the end I looked like hell but felt freakin fantastic!!!! I feel like I got my head on straight on that day. Its amazing.

I have to suggest this event (UPW with Tony Robbins) if you are interested in emotional growth at all. I have to say that these words here under explain the power of this event. Like child birth...you cant really get it till you do it! wow.

Oh- my husband and brother are attending the next event in Toronto! Yippee! I am so psyched for them!