Empty Nest Shame Game

So - I have been thinking a lot about the life phase of empty nest.

From what I have figured out this phase of life is normal and we all go through it eventually assuming we've had kids. But, at least from where I sit, people don't talk a lot about it.

Why is that? Well, it seems its just like most women's issues....

its judgable, blamable, shamable.

Isn't this just how it goes. Here's my take on that....

Women have been the brunt of male oppression since the beginning of time. I suppose that is because men were the strong and women the weak. Back then brute force was the greatest commodity. Regardless, the oppression of women has gone on in every culture since the beginning of human history. So- here in America...though of course there is still plenty of oppression to go around....for the most part women have a good shot at a peaceful life with equal rights. So now that (hopefully most) of us are not being brutally oppressed what do we do?....we women do it to ourselves and each other.

The stage of 'empty nest' is just another venue to judge and blame each other. We don't talk about this for a good reason...its a no win situation.

Its another way to point a finger at 'others'.

If you are pleased that your kids are grown and out of the house- if you are enjoying your freedom then you are a heartless, cold women who never really wanted kids to start with. "How awful you are". But- if you miss your kids- you are sad and wish for the buzz of family and the commitment of children then you never had a life of your own- you were living through your children- you were dependant on your man etc."What a looser you are".

You just cannot win.

This is not one bit different than all other women's issues. Women judge each other over EVERYTHING right from the start of parenthood. Cloth vs disposable diapers, breast feeding vs bottle, working mothers vs stay at home moms, public school vs home school.

These are just a few of the topics to torture each other over.

This doesn't make sense at all. We need to support each other. We need to hear each other. Allow each other to express our hurts, worries, pains and joys...with no shame.