Mountain walkin in Virginia

My girls and I went to visit my mother in law in Virginia.

While there we spent an afternoon hiking up the side of a mountain. This was a good work out. Youch. Up-Up-Up.

Walkin at Myrtal Beach

Here I am with my dd walking on the beach in South Carolina.

I have never been much of a beach person however this day I just felt compelled to walk, walk, walk along the beach. I now see why people do that. Its nice!

Walkin at Sampson

This day in March I went out walking at Sampson State Park with Jody, Maya Rae and Saige.

They all had a great time. Though I was happy to get some outside exercise time in I felt like crap. Ugh. I had just started a heavy metal cleanse and yuck, yuck, yuck!
I was so nauseous and miserable.
In the end I felt much better and I am assuming I am pretty darn metal free.

Walkin at the Lake

Walkin at Willard on Seneca Lake.

Its good to be workin out outside!

Walkin

I'm walkin...yes indeed, I'm walkin...just you and me...I'm walkin.....la la la...

Spring has seemingly sprung and I am OH SO FREAKIN SICK OF BEING IN THE HOUSE so

enough workin out inside....

I am walkin! Of course I am draggin my girls and my husband along where I can. My endurance is better than ever before. My favorite is to run up grades and hills. I just LOVE being in or near the woods. The birds, the breeze, the sun....ahhhh ;)

Post Tony Robbins Shrinkage

Woo-Hoo!

Down another inch around the waist! :)

Thats 7 inches since November.

Oh- I did get down another pant size before going to Tony Robbins by the way. I was way cool to got out shopping for new clothes before the event. Found some great new jeans and several tops on clearance. Now I am aiming to shrink out of these jeans asap. I bought the jeans on a Thursday and by the next Wed they were already looser. Cool beans!!!

Holy Moly- Tony Robbins!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

OMG! Its Tony Robbins! Well I did it! I went to Tony Robbins! Wow!!! Here's the story...

Back in August my BFF went to Tony Robbins in Toronto. The event transformed her life and she set out to get me to do it too. In November she came to visit me for a weekend and we watched 3 DVDs of Tony Robbins at work. Wo! I was sold. I said- no matter what it took I was going to New Jersey for the UPW (unleash the power within) event. The biggest obstacle for me was $. The ticket is $734! Crazy! Well I went to selling off my rubber stamp stock. I held a big blow out sale and made $1200 :) Then, lucky me, I was offered a discount ticket for $500. Just making the commitment to go made so many doors open. The $ just came. And- my head just opened. I started all that meditation (below) and I was (am) loosing weight like crazy. I couldn't even imagine what I was going experience at this event.

The best I can describe the event is 53 hrs of intensive therapy mixed with a 4 day rock concert! The days were looooong and crazy! We only had about 3 hrs of sleep each night. No time to eat. Few real breaks. You spend these days massaging strangers, jumping, dancing, screaming, crying, sobbing and walking across fire!About the fire walk.... I did it! The coals range in temp from 1200-2000 degrees. There were 22 beds of coals measuring 2' wide by 12' long.The fire walk was held in the parking garage of the convention center. It was pitch black with tribal drums booming and 300 people chanting ...yes, yes, yes....

I was the first one of 2900 people down there. Though the pitch black garage did through me, I was FINE with the whole thing till I saw the coals. I got scared but talked myself down. About 7 people were ahead of me in line. I managed to take hold of the fear while I waited my turn but then when I stepped up for my turn my entire body was clenched with fear. I turned to the person next to me and said 'I cannot do this'....no response....cannot see ANYONE.....FEAR....then when I realised that I couldn't engage anyone in my fear it was driven right back down inside me again. Then I thought...' I cannot go home and say I didn't do it'....I took the first step. I felt my right foot touch the hot coals then I saw, heard, felt...NOTHING!...untill I felt the ice water being sprayed on my feet on the other side.Here you can see the 'hot spots' on my foot after the walk. They were fine by morning.

The fire walk was on day 1.

The second day started at 8 am and ran till 11pm. It was a lot of emotional work that prepared us for the big day...day 3. On this day we did the real work. We had to explore our passions, make decisions we haven't made yet and

look at our beliefs.....beliefs like.....'Life is...', 'I am...', 'People are...'

So I was honest....I said I believed 'I am a burden. I am unacceptable.'

You may recall from a post below I had over come enormous amounts of 'man issues' before going to this event. Well....when I got there and stood with 1500 strange men and had to massage these men and be hugged and touched by these men....I found I wasn't quite done with my issues. At one point I was so uncomfortable I had to leave. I have to say that I am sooooooo glad I did all that head work before going because I am certain that had I not over come all that I did I would have never endured this event. So- I also made a point to write down 'I believe deep down that all men are predators and perverts'. (a part of me no longer believed that but to be honest with myself...a part still did) So we wrote our beliefs down and then wrote down all the ways our current life is effected by these cruddy beliefs.

This book work was enough work but then we had to turn to a partner and tell them all that we wrote down. Well...I had been seated mostly alone. There was a row of woman in front of me and behind me and several blank chairs next to me. Then, along comes a 25 yr old-ish Peurto Rican man who sits down next to me. (just for those who don't know...I was once married to a 25 yr old Peurto Rican man who cheated relentlessly, made at least a few babies outside of the marriage... and definitely helped to mess me up) So...I had to turn to this man and tell him all my crappy beliefs about myself. Ugh.

I did it. I started to cry right off and I was embarrassed to tell him the one about men because I didn't want to insult this guy. I am sure men get real sick of women blaming them. So I did tell him...and I cried and cried to this stranger. He just stood there strong and still. He listened very respectfully. Then it was time to trade places and he had to tell me his stuff.....and he said....

"I am that guy". He goes on to tell me how he has spent his adult life pushing women around and pushing good women out of his life etc...............woooooooo! Freakin profound!!! for real.

Incredible.

This process of unraveling our beliefs and establishing new ones took several hours and was hugely moving. 2900 people stood in the dark waling and screaming. It sounded like what I'd imagine war to sound like. It was sooooo heavy but sooooooo effective. In the end I looked like hell but felt freakin fantastic!!!! I feel like I got my head on straight on that day. Its amazing.

I have to suggest this event (UPW with Tony Robbins) if you are interested in emotional growth at all. I have to say that these words here under explain the power of this event. Like child birth...you cant really get it till you do it! wow.

Oh- my husband and brother are attending the next event in Toronto! Yippee! I am so psyched for them!

Healing Abuse: may be disturbing to some

Well, I have gone back and forth about posting this but have decided that I know at least 6 woman in my circle who were sexually molested/ assaulted as young people. Studies say that 1 in 3 girls are molested before age 18. Its sadly common and I think the overall feeling left for the woman is shame so it is kept quite secret. I have decided to post my experiences for the world to see because...

I have healed myself. Yes. And- if I can do it, I know you can too!

First I should tell you what was broken. Well, I have always had 'man issues'. I have been disgusted with boys, teen boys and men my entire adult life (and before I suppose). Now, I have managed to marry two men. One was a terrible husband and the other is wonderful....

a keeper ;) I have helped raise 3 step sons. I don't think they are gross. I have an adorable nephew whom I love. Its more the concept of men and boys....not so much the individual. Certain groups of men- farmers actually- have always been safe for me (these men represent my safe men...my uncles and grandfather) but every other group of men I have seen as a threat. I've always felt sexually assessed/ visually molested.

The why is easy...Just a quick run down......

At 3 mo I was beaten purple by my father (certainly, I only know this as a story but it is undeniable that an attack of enraged male energy coming at you as an infant will have a lasting impression on the 'gut' feeling about men)

At 6 I was molested by an old guy who was the neighbor of my grandparents.

At 8 my friends father french kissed me and showed me porn.

From 8-12 yrs my step brother molested me while I slept.

At 18 my (loved and trusted) step father performed lurid acts in front of me and while watching me dress.

Then to top it off my 1st boyfriend turned out to be married and my 1st husband cheated just relentlessly, fathering at least one child outside of the marriage to boot.

Ok- so that's reason enough. Could be yet another reason why I am a compulsive eater! Geesh! Ya think ????

So- up till recently I thought I was way past all that stuff. I have always heard "some times you just have to get over things". I thought I had on this one. Not so much. I am not really clear what set it all off but about a month ago I was talking to my best friend about 'men'. Then just in the moment I realised that this stuff was actually still effecting my current life! There is a good book title..."Feelings buried alive, never die". I guess that's true. I had just been unconscious about it.

So- what did I do?

I talked to my best friend about what had happened and how it all REALLY made me feel both then and now. I yelled and swore. Her listening was an enormous gift. I have only met 3 people ever who could handle my rage and shes one of them. She listened and I ranted! That helped and then the next day I talked to my husband about it. Not so intense this time. I knew there were a few small words out there that would set my healing in motion so I begged him to give them to me........and he did! He pointed out that it was not MEN I hated....but unconscious male energy! That was the ticket. I don't hate men. I love men whom I can trust. I love my husband, brother, step sons, nephew, uncles. I have hated the unconscious acts/ behaviors these other men used me to act out. Yep. From there I started to meditate....and this is the real ticket I think.

How have I meditated?

Well I learned from a book actually. I lay on my bed and breathe. Full, deep breathes in and out 10 times. After that you kind of get a rhythm going and don't need to count any more. Then I say "Ya Baha'u'l-Abha" (which means... God is most glorious) several times. From there I have essentially said this in my mind....." I see God's light in all little boys" . This made me cry and cry. Then later when I was feeling better about boys I moved on....."I see God's light in all men and boys". THIS made me cry and cry. I did this for several days. Every other day though because it was sooooooo intense for me I was scared to do it and needed a break. Another day I moved on...."I forgive my step brother for his unconscious acts"....another day..." I forgive- etc etc" Periodically during meditation I'd say, "I will myself to be healed"

Then one day I was meditating and I felt no need to do anything about men any more.

I have since tested myself. My distrust is gone. I can be among strange men and feel nothing but kindness. I can since 'bad energy' from some men (just as I do with women) but this is pretty normal for me these days anyway. As for boys... when I think of teen boys I see them as sons. When I think of little boys or baby boys my heart just fills with love.

So- there ya go. I walked around unconcious for 38 yrs and then in just a few weeks of real work I healed myself ! So thats that story :) I think there is NO shame in having an ugly story. I think the shame comes from stuffing the story and allowing it to cause unhappiness in your world.- my 2 cents.

Rock your mind!

Ok- I am not even going to try to describe this video. My friend tried to describe it to me and I thought it sounded just horrible. Then I have tried to describe it to friends and its sounds even worse soooooo.....all I can say is do your world and favor and rent this (or buy it on Amazon). It will blast your mind right open. I watched it 3 times just to get my head around what to me was a BIG HUGE idea! Now I just love it. Here is what someone else wrote about it...


Living out day-to-day activities consciences of the quantum processes that fuel my existence has been exceedingly beneficial to increasing control over my universe. What the Bleep Do We Know came to me at a point in my life were I already knew much about the power of positive thinking and the flow of energy. However, to this day I continue to use the lessons that it provided as a base for my fluid system of beliefs. These lessons have been around for as long as the human mind has been open to invisible properties governing existence. The principles governing this system of thought are as innately built into our galaxy as the law of gravity. The Quantum Thought has thought me to live in the moment and master my evolutionary gifts.

Open your mind some more

This is an incredible, life altering book. I highly recommend it. The title speaks for itself. Get it on Amazon for about $7 (used) ... http://www.amazon.com Don't read? Get it on audio!

This is so worth your time.

I read another of Tolle's books....The Power of Now. That is a much heavier book but it led me to this one. Both are incredible world rockin books!

Feb 21, 2009

Here I am now! February 21, 2009.

I am down almost 3 pant sizes and here I am wearing a womans XL top! Holy Moly! Not too shabby! Mamma gonna be H-O-T!

Today I got back into a bathing suit I havent worn in 9 yrs. Now- my legs look yuck-y but at least the sucker fits right? This is progress. By summer I will actually be shopping for a decent suit.

Inch Update

I lost another inch around my belly button!

Yippee!

Thats a total of 6 inches now. Awesome!

I have now moved into my smallest jeans. I have had a couple of pair of jeans that never really fit. One was bigger than the other though and now I am into the smaller pair. I am going to Tony Robbins in 14 days. In the mean time I am doing lots of TaeBo and Rebounding hard. I am shooting to get into the next jean size down before I go.

Cannot Wait!!!

I am going to see Tony Robbins!!!!

In mid March I am going to spend 4 days at the Unleash the Power Within Conference/ workshop in New Jersey!

ANTHONY ROBBINS LIVE - New York Area : March 2009 Experience four of the most empowering, educational and entertaining days of your life. Learn how Unleash the Power Within will teach you to not only achieve your ultimate goals but create an extraordinary quality of life.

I cannot wait!! There will be around 2000 people. My friend did this and found it to be extremely empowering. I am working at building empowerment within and think this will be a push I can use. Check it out for yourself.... www.tonyrobbins.com

My favorite cleanse

I have done a cleanse before it was wonderful!!! I put my husband and older daughters on it and they experienced great results. My 14 yr old used to suffer from terrible allergies and asthma but after her cleanse her allergies are cut back by at least 85% and her asthma is completely cured!!!

This is my all time favorite cleanse. Everyone I have ever suggested take it raves about it as well. If you think you have done a colon cleanse but it was not that great...do yourself a favor and try this one.... www.cleansethatcolon.com

Getting all CLEAN inside

I just started this cleanse....

Organic Total Body Cleanse™
Organic ingredients, Vegetarian formula, Soy-free, gluten-free , 3-part formula
Organic Total Body Cleanse™ is a 14-day, 3-part organic internal cleansing program. Organic Total Body Cleanse blends only organic herbs and fiber to offer you a wholesome and effective cleanse with no extra ingredients to add stress to your body‡.

You can get it online here...

www.renewlife.com

I got it at my local health food store...

Mother Earth Natural Foods(315) 789-2714
440 Exchange St, Geneva, NY 14456

I will let ya know how this one goes.

The Big Plan!

My husband, Jody, and I have made a big plan....

This June he and I will mount our bikes, and looking much like this couple above, will head out from our home in New York and ride for 14 days (360 miles) to my friends house in Rhode Island. We are planning on doing about 40 miles each day and having a few days to rest in between. We'll be camping along the way. Jody has always wanted to do this in Europe. I have always wanted to do it in general. The other day I got to thinking thaat life is too darn short to wait for Europe so off we go!!!

Me today

Here I am today. This is January 31, 2009. I have been a vegetarian for 10 weeks and working out pretty darn regularly for 8 weeks. I feel great and am much stronger.

I am so happy to be a veg head. I am going through what I think is a stage of 'ick' ! Every form of meat is just disgusting to me!!! I have given up fish and shrimp now too. All I can say is 'ick'!

A couple of vegetarians I know went though this same thing. I am working out most every day and everything is getting much easier.

Rebounding Jan 30

Well here I am on Jan 30. Still rebounding!

Jeans

Here are my jeans today. The bigger pair I bought to go on a trip to RI in mid Oct.

The smaller jeans are a pair I am wearing now.

Check out the incredible shrinking bootay!

Never Eat...

Never Eat......

High Fructose Corn Syrup

Hydrogenated Oils

Mono sodium Glutamate -MSG

Aspartame

Palm Oil

Natural &/or Artificial Flavors

Make shopping easy by printing this list and keeping it in your wallet. When you first try to groceries without these 'things' in them you may quickly feel discouraged. Hang in there. All of the basic staples have a healthy option- you just have to read. Soon you will know which brands are safe and which have poison in them. When you feel stuck....go to the organic section of your grocery store. Whenever possible by organic!

Open your mind

I strongly recommend this book....

Natural Cures they dont want you to know about....by Kevin Trudeau.

("they" are the Food and Drug Administration)

You can get it cheap on Amazon or even free on www.paperbackswap.com

This book outraged me! It opened my mind to the poison that is in all processed foods and helped me understand what to never ever buy. Our family literally transformed out buying and eating habits after I read this book. We instantly began to be thinner and healthier.

McDonalds he he

Found this on the web and thought it was TOO funny....and true.

The "food" McDonalds sells is pure garbage!!!

If you haven't seen Super size me.....rent it. Its worth watching.

Did you know that the fries are literally a carcinogen?!?!

"Scientists find clue to french fries' link with carcinogen...their is a chemical reaction that causes french fries to build up high levels of a possible cancer-causing substance"

They are as bad a cigarettes yet they are the top 'vegetable' consumed by small children's in this country :( Plus, each burger contains the meat of something like 90 different factory farmed cows!

YUCK- YUCK- YUCK!!!

NASTY!!!

mmmm smooothy

While I have been enjoying endless veggies over here I have finding it difficult to get fruit in. I don't really like fruit. Too sweet for me. I found a way.....smoothy baby!

My recipe:

1/2 cup vanilla yogurt

1/2 cup of soy milk

1 big apple (everything but the core and stem)

1 nectarine

Dump in blender and pulverise.

Of course you can swap out the apples and oranges for anything you can think up. I like this combo....mmmm.

Mind, Body, Spirit

I am concerned that this blog would start to come off as a diet blog or even worse...a new years resolution blog because of all the talk of vegetables and dropping inches.

I thought I'd take a moment here to clarify my thinking. This is not either of the above. My 'body enlightenment' journey is not about loosing weight at all actually. I am loosing weight and getting 'in shape' but that's the side effect of what I am doing.

The body issue has been a life long issue for me. I started Weight Watchers at age 8 and it went from there....diet after diet. I beat myself up for about 25 yrs. At age 8 I would literally punch myself in the face and scream "you're fat!" "you're ugly!" "I hate you!" I thought I had to be thin to be lovable. Throughout my teens I starved myself for as much as 2 weeks at a time. Then I binged. In my 20s I added in some drinking with the binging. Even at my thinnest moments I thought I was disgusting. I was depressed for about 14 yrs. I fell into the trap of waiting for tomorrow to come to live......"when I am thin then I can...." These are just some of the 'highlights' of a long long list of self abuses. (all ancient history now)

At age 31 (7 yrs ago) I started Overeaters Anonymous. This was the beginning of my enlightenment though I didn't know it yet. It was with the help of a dedicated sponsor that I wrote and spoke my way to the realisation that this body issue was really a head issue. I stayed with OA for a full year and it really got my head going in the right direction. From there many changes took place....I began composting, gardening, MOVING, raising chickens, canning, etc etc etc. What does this have to do with my body??? Well- everything actually. It was a beginning of consciousness. I saw that my thinking was effecting every aspect of my life and with every little step I took another idea fell into place. With each idea came more knowledge and so on. With my hands in the dirt I found my way back to my Faith. (Since OA I have lost a little over 100 lbs.)

Now- here I am. My head is on pretty darn straight and I am living in alignment with my spiritual beliefs. But, I am still carrying the physical baggage from my old hurts. This stuff is not who I am and has absolutely nothing to do with me today. Hence, my 'body enlightenment' is me creating my body to match my mind and spirit. Yes, I will loose more weight but I have already shed the emotional weight that was holding me back--- the shrinking butt is just a perk ;)

Our bodies are sacred vessels that contain all our potential, all our futures so we must be mindful to nurture and nourish them. This is our spiritual practice that will help us to lead a full and active life.

Ok- here is the real me...today

Here I am a 19 days into by 'body enlightenment' extravaganza!

Not exactly scrawny but definitely perfect for now!

Anyway- I thought I had better put a picture up as a frame of reference for my rapidly shrinking buttocks.

Down 5 inches!

So- because I dont own a scale I have been keeping track of my waist measurement.

Since late October, I have lost 5 full inches around the middle! I am psyched. Since I have become a 'veg head' it is just soooooo easy to drop weight. I wish someone had mentioned that about 30 yrs ago! ;p

Here are some facts about the big ol belly.....

Women with a waist measurement of more than 35 inches or men with a waist measurement of more than 40 inches may have a higher disease risk than people with smaller waist measurements because of where their fat lies.

Shrinking shirts

Here are a couple of my shirts. I bought the larger of the two about 3 yrs ago. It fit just right back then. Actually, I bought 5 of these. One smaller of these two is the one I wore yesterday! A bit of a difference huh?!?!? With all the exercising I am doing this is bound to be just a passing size. :)

Yoga Time :)

Yoga Time for me ;)
Time to twist and shout ;)
When Vayda expressed an interest in Yoga last year, we got a box set of VHS tapes on Freecycle. We have a blast doing Yoga to Chinese tunes with Wai Lana. This is not your standard spandex barbie American Yoga. This is the real thing. Yoga done with focus and meditation.

I have thought that Yoga was a hard work out for a long time. But- now that Billy Black is kickin my wide but with Tae Bo Yoga is a regular blessing!

TaeBo

Here it is.....My newest thing. TaeBo!

Now, over the years I have every imaginable arobics tape. Then this last year Vayda got me into Yoga. I really like that. Vayda too is the one that started this TaeBo thing. She has wanted to try TaeBo for about a year. We kept Freecycling for a tape with no luck. Then the other day, Maya went on a play date and the mom, Donna, generously offered us a big box of tapes and DVDs. In there were 3 TaeBo videos! Vaday jumped right on the TaeBo DVD.

It looked so fun I am workin it now.

Here I am on day two. I have to say that I was so sore from day one that I had to take a hot shower before working out just to get my muscles to move at all. OUCH!

Yeah baby- now thats sexy....lol!
Oh- Lord above! I may not survive this insanity!
Ok- so I did survive day two and actually made it through day 3.

Today is day 4 and I can walk again :)

Crazy veggy cravings

OK- this is among the weirdest things that has ever happened to me!

About 4 weeks into my vegetarian way of eating I woke up CRAVING veggies. That day it was broccoli. Then I moved to asparagus and now its egg plant! I have tried eating healthy all my life with little luck and lots of back sliding. Now I am CRAVING the green stuff !!??? Very very strange!

On that note....my cooking has totally changed. I used to cook like this.... What meat do I have? What starch goes with that? Oh- I had better add in a veg. Now I go....What veggies do I have? Should I add a starch? Meat....better do something nice for the hubby so he doesn't leave me ;)

December 31, 2008

Here I am a month after I got started rebounding. I don't own a scale so I don't know if I have actually lost any weight but that's fine. I can tell I have dropped a few inches here and there. I have some saggy jeans an I lost 2 inches on my waist.

I haven't been very consistent so I am psyched that I came this far in only 5 weeks. Check back in a month to see if anything changes. Right at this moment I am O so very sore from

doing Tao-Bo for the first time.

Health benefits of a vegetarian diet

Vegetarian diets are lower in saturated fats, cholesterol, and animal protein. They’re also high in folate, anti-oxidant vitamins like C and E, carotenoids, and phytochemicals. Overall, vegetarians have substantially reduced risks for obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes mellitus, osteoporosis, and some forms of cancer - particularly lung cancer and colon cancer. Vegetarian diets that are low in saturated fats have been successfully used to reverse severe coronary artery disease.

Cool Beans!